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Let me introduce myself

Let me introduce myself, My Name is Scarcity

What does it look like when you grow up in a society that you’re made to believe you are not enough? The past several weeks I have been reading Brene Browns’ “The Gifts of Imperfection”  and I have been really looking into that question. In this book the author delves into how much of our lives is based on what others think of us. It is truly debilitating how we mute our inner vulnerable selves and choose to let fear lead us on that path. Think about it, how many times in our lives have we had these thoughts? “Am I thin enough, pretty enough, strong enough, educated enough, rich enough, successful enough ever?” This idea of scarcity, something lacking has been passed down to us from generation to generation.

It is like a sea that keeps drowning us generation after generations in the old ideas and not meeting expectations that were Nassim Sanaset before us. This does nothing except to keep us stuck and prevent us from growing and nourishing our inner qualities. Then we are left with mimicking the patterns of the past and yet we are left wondering why everything is broken in our world, communities and lives. Our lives are not meant to fit into a perfect small box to look and be a certain way; we are unique, one of kind, perfect and whole the way we are and that is where we need to be heading.

Then how come we keep stumbling on the same path? The first place to look is what behind the language of scarcity. One key component that keeps us confined is “Shame”. Shame is what’s behind the belief that we are not good enough. Shame is the inner nagging voice that tells you who do you think you are? Give us the conviction that we need to be perfect and we cannot be weak. Simply because if we show we are either one of those things we will not be accepted in our communities. Brene Brown says, “Shame is an epidemic in our culture.” Epidemic it is; studies show that shame is correlated to addiction, eating disorder, depression, aggression, suicide. Shame prevents us from being vulnerable and showing vulnerability as human beings. The myth we are taught is that vulnerability means weakness, when it really means courage. Vulnerability is the key that allows too take emotional risk and risks in life. This is what allows you to take the leap and invent that one thing which changes the world or being the first to say I think you’re amazing I love you. Letting others truly see us for who we are and not what we want others to see. Brene says life is about daring greatly and allowing vulnerability in so that we can be connected in an authentic way. That the next time we are sitting next to a loved one we can choose to be empathic and say, “ I know, I have been there before, you are not alone.” The ingredients that make us amazing beings are our ability to be vulnerable and show empathy to others; the simple fact is no one will ever do it perfectly or live that perfect life.

Here are some tips on how to live a fuller life
• Become more aware of how shame has played into your life
• Learning to quiet that inner voice that is written in SHAME
• Play in the arena of life and have fun with being vulnerable
• Don’t give meaning and power to your failures, that does not define you
• Remember failure is derived from fear and fear comes from shame
• Be grateful daily, shower yourself in the joys of life and remember you are not defined by others or your past, you are perfect and whole the way you are.

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